


Yellow Flicker Beat

by rueingthings



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21990748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rueingthings/pseuds/rueingthings
Summary: His Dark Materials AU. Twelve-year-old Cersei Lannister has some important news to convey to her father. Gotsecretsanta 2019 event gift!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Yellow Flicker Beat

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a gift for fellow Cersei Lannister fan @girlinthefireplace16 for the gotsecretsanta event! It's set in an His Dark Materials AU where every one has "daemons" or a physical incarnation of your soul that settles into one animal form around puberty. It started out as just "the day Cersei's daemon settles" and turned into a whole Thing with other Lannisters making appearances and a bit of Cersei/Jaime and some weird Westerosi daemon mythology and I don’t know what! Anyway….enjoy!

Cersei Lannister gazed at herself in the glass, well satisfied with what she saw. Her dress of green and gold brightened her eyes and brought out all the beauty of her complexion. The dress material had been a gift from Father, as rich and lush as her own beauty. It was her very first feast at King’s Landing, and one in Father’s honour. He had spoken to her solemnly of tonight, of how important it was that she make the right impression and the right friends, that she bring honour and glory to their house, not disgrace. But for all that, he had seemed to think her beauty was all that was required of her. _Beauty, and a little modesty, can do more for a woman’s reputation than all the wit or brains she could possibly possess._ Father’s words rang in her mind, though she felt they really needn’t be said to her. Beauty she had possessed, even without trying; as for modesty, she was a Lannister, so why should she need to be modest when neither Father nor Jaime nor even that odious little Tyrion did? But it didn’t matter, she could _pretend_ to be as modest as Father would ever wish her to appear.

And tonight, of all nights, she wished to impress Father. This was the night she was going to tell him the true shape of her daemon; he had settled this very morning, though she had felt the change beginning the day she had departed from Casterly Rock. She remembered that last meeting with Jaime, and how he had looked when she kissed him, gently, modestly, but with a meaning he couldn’t escape. There was promise in that kiss, and she felt sure (though she really did not know how) that they would be together before long. Was it the kiss, she wondered, that, in some secret, mysterious way, had started the process?

And today morning, when she woke, she knew it was done. Father must be told; preparations made for her traditional daemon day feast at Casterly Rock; though they had just left, she felt sure Father would insist on her returning there for the feast, usually held in one's home to celebrate the daemon settling for those of noble blood. The Lannisters' daemon days were rather special affairs, Father had seen to that. She had wondered once or twice if her father might decide to not take her back, if her daemon settled here in King’s Landing. To be sure, it would be grand in a way, to have her feast here, with all the royal Targaryens in attendance. But to Cersei, who had seen the Lannister daemon days that came before, there was no better, no grander celebration than the one at Casterly Rock, and it stung her to think Jaime would get his while she never should. But when she saw Corlynn today upon awaking, when she joyously embraced his form, she felt her Father could not deny her. Though she could have wished Corlynn bigger, fiercer, she could not wish him more beautiful or more suited for Tywin Lannister’s eldest daughter.

“Corlynn, what ornament do you think I ought to wear? Shall I wear the gold-set pearl? Or the emerald?” she turned to her daemon, who stood beside her, his long tail flicking in tense excitement.

“The emerald, I think…it matches our eyes.” said Corlynn, turning those very eyes towards her own. “Tonight, you show me off, remember?” Cersei gave a pleased nod as her handmaiden fetched the emerald necklace.

With the emerald necklace gleaming at her neck, and her daemon’s long, sleek form at her side, Cersei felt she looked every inch a Queen. _Tonight_ , she thought. _Tonight they will always remember as the night they first laid eyes on Cersei Lannister._ _Tonight, Father will finally see me for all I am_.

She set off to Father’s chambers, where he had instructed her to meet him before they descended to the Great Hall for the feast. Heart beating with the familiar mixture of excitement and nervousness she always felt around Father, she knocked on his door.

On entering, the first thing she saw was Maeb, sitting at her usual place by Father’s mighty fire. She was a spotted leopard, and though her eyes were curiously red and she had rather a short tail, she breathed a regal aura, especially sitting there by the fire, where her fur seemed to glow golden. Cersei could well imagine the effect she would have on any who entered. Today, however, Cersei was only bolstered by the sight.

“Good evening, Father.”

Tywin Lannister raised his head from the sheaf of parchments in front of him to survey his daughter, seeming to approve of her garb. “I see you have followed my instructions. Good.” He bent his head again, returning to peruse the scroll in front of him. “See that you conduct yourself well at the feast. It is a chance for you to make friends at court, useful friends.”

Cersei felt a stab of disappointment. He hadn’t even glanced at her Corlynn, much less registered his form. “Father,” she began, her voice ringing out clearly. “Father, I wanted to tell you something.”

“Did you?” he asked, not even raising his eyes, still reading his scroll. “I shall be with you in a minute.”

“It is something important, Father.” Her voice rang out, clear as a bell, confident in the magnitude of what she had to convey.

“I said, wait.”

Cersei flushed with anger. _What is in that hateful scroll_ , she thought. _I will make him look up_.

“Corlynn has settled, Father.” She said, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. She was pleased to see he finally looked up, rather sharply, his eyes wide with surprise. Maeb rose too, her tail flicking slowly from side to side, and marched right up to Corlynn.

“Look, Father.” Cersei said, rather loudly, her eyes bright. “Look!”

Corlynn stood there, all bright and beautiful and golden, his tail raised up in excitement and his green eyes gleaming in the firelight. Her Father still said nothing. “It’s an ocelot, Father.” Cersei whispered. “A golden cat, just like you.”

The silence stretched on and Cersei felt wretched with anticipation. Unbidden, a story her former companion Julianna had told came into her head. Julianna Swann had been the daughter of a minor noble at the Casterly Rock court. She had been a good sort of companion, knowing her place but still lively enough to amuse, but Cersei had tired of her eventually. Her daemon had settled just days before Cersei had left Casterly Rock, settling into the form of a small black dog, Cersei couldn’t remember which breed. Though it looked well enough, Cersei should have been ashamed of having her daemon be a dog, and told her so. Servants and farmers and labourers could have dogs; lords and ladies didn’t. Julianna had looked cast down, for the settling of a daemon was an important event in the life of a noble lady, an indication she was ready for marriage and children and all the higher things of life. The form of the daemon could bring disgrace or charm to any house. The Septons preached that no one form was lower than another (one of the rare matters on which they and the Maesters agreed), but that was all nonsense. As with people, there was a hierarchy among daemons, and at Casterly Rock, a dog had no value except to serve. The very next day, however, Julianna had come prancing to her, full of joy because her father, far from being disappointed, had embraced her and told her he was proud of her, and welcomed her matured daemon into their family.

“He said he didn’t care what the form of my daemon was, so long as I was happy with it! He said he would start looking out for a fine match for me, now Tristan has settled. Oh, isn’t it wonderful?”

“That just shows what your father thinks of you and your prospects, then. He thinks you fit to be a servant and I shouldn’t be surprised if he found you a servant for a husband too.” Cersei had replied, cuttingly. The girl had run away in tears, and Cersei hadn’t bothered with her any more. It had hardly worried her then; why did she think now of it? She knew of course that her own father would not be so silly as to embrace her and tell her he would have loved her no matter what. For a moment, just a moment, she wondered what it might be like to have a father like that.

At long last, Father spoke. “Well, good. A fine enough daemon for the daughter of Tywin Lannister. We must have your ring made, in the form of – an ocelot, isn’t it? I must say I am glad Corlynn did not choose the monkey. I cannot abide monkey daemons.”

For a brief while, Corlynn had fancied himself as a golden monkey. Cersei vaguely remembered her aunt (whose own daemon was a monkey) telling her that monkey daemons were rather more common among Lannisters than lions or any other big cats. That made her father hate them all the more and she had been immensely relieved when Corlynn had decided he would rather be an ocelot.

“Yes, we’ll have them set together. Yours and Jaime’s. Twin rings, though the animals aren’t twins. But close enough.”

Cersei felt a sharp pain somewhere around her stomach. “Jaime?”

“Yes, I’ve just had a raven. Marilla settled as a cheetah.” Father was already back at his desk, busy writing on some parchment, no doubt orders to have their twin rings made in the traditional Lannister style. No doubt, more ravens would fly out soon, to prepare for the traditional daemon day feasts too. Cersei felt her anger at Jaime’s daemon settling without her, battle with delight at the thought of seeing Jaime again so soon.

“I suppose, Father, I must prepare to leave King’s Landing soon.” she wondered out loud.

“And why would you think that?” Father replied, calmly.

Cersei was taken aback. “For the feast of course, for our daemon day celebration.”

“Why do you imagine you will have to leave for that? It is just as well for you to have your celebration here. It would be a great chance for you to display some of the graciousness and splendour of the Lannister family, if you can host such an important feast right here in the capital.”

“Oh! Yes! Then Jaime must come here, I suppose. He will take some weeks.” she mused.

Tywin stopped his writing and looked up. “I wish, Cersei, you would not be so eager to read my mind and make up decisions for me, before I speak. There is no notion in my mind of Jaime coming here or you going back. Your place is here now, as I told you before we came. This is your new home, and you will celebrate your feast here, with the Queen in attendance, as befits the daughter of Tywin Lannister. Jaime must celebrate his at Casterly Rock, in the traditional daemon day feast for the heir of the house.”

Corlynn let out a hiss at her side. Cersei had listened with growing indignation to this speech and finally spoke out, her anger making her careless. “My place is at Casterly Rock too! I deserve the traditional feast as much as much as Jaime does. We are twins, we should celebrate together as we have done everything together.”

“Enough!” Tywin banged a hand on the table, and Maeb leapt towards Corlynn with a growl, crouching over him with bared teeth.

“You will do as I say, and you will do it with a smile and more grace than you show at present. You forget, Cersei, that even were you at Casterly Rock, you could not participate in Jaime’s feast. That must be his, and his alone, for though you are twins, he is my heir and the future lord of Casterly Rock. That is not your place. Do you understand?”

Corlynn snapped back at Maeb and Cersei stood there, mutinous and angry, wanting nothing more than to scream no, no, no. How she had dreamed of the day she would step into the world as a woman! How she had longed to have a daemon that would make Father proud, make him see her for what she was. And here was her reward for all her anticipation.

“Cersei, I said, do you understand.” Her Father’s voice had gone dangerously soft and flat, though Maeb’s deep growls filled the silence after he had spoken.

Corlynn did not cower, but Maeb had him beaten. He bent his head in silent and submission and so did Cersei.

“Yes, Father. I understand.” She said, casting her eyes down lest he see the queer mixture of potent feelings still bubbling there. There was anger, jealous anger, at how nothing she did could ever displace Jaime as the dearest and best in her Father’s eyes; how he always came first and she a distant second. There was triumph, yes, unexpected and sweet: Jaime and Marilla had settled exactly the same time as her and Corlynn. But there was also a deep disappointment, as she thought of Jaime, so far away, finding Marilla’s true form without her. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair. She should have been there with him; she should have laid eyes on Marilla’s final cheetah form at the same moment as he did; she should have run her hand through that soft fur. At this thought, she felt a thrill of resentful pleasure that made her bold and helped to dispel some of her desperate anger.

Raising her eyes to Father, she spoke again, “I did not think when I spoke before. Forgive me.” She dropped a quick curtsy. Tywin gave her a cool appraising glance and nodded, rising from the table and moving toward the door.

Cersei followed him, her gaze lowered again, her heart beating with the excitement of a new idea. She did not intend, by any means, to let Father stand in the way of all she wanted. If Father did not want to see what she truly was, if he did not appreciate her, if he was determined to keep her and Jaime apart and treat her as if she was no more than a silly woman, then she would have to get all she wanted, by her own means. Corlynn felt her excitement and raised his head towards hers. She nodded to him slightly, and she knew he understood that they would have much to discuss and know, when once alone in their chambers. One way or the other, Cersei Lannister would have the crown she knew was hers, and Jaime, here at King’s Landing, by her side. One day soon, she would stroke Marilla’s oh so beautiful fur, and Jaime would kiss Corlynn between his sweet green eyes. They would be together, and she would get all she ever wanted. And if in that pursuit, her Father did not get what he wanted, the victory would be all the sweeter.


End file.
